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3 Situations Where “It’s Not You, It’s Me” is the Most Honest Answer

Finding love is more complicated than liking someone

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“He seemed really interested. He was flirting and saying we should meet up, then he went cold.” I hear this kind of statement a lot from my friends, singles’ groups online, and on Facebook. Why do people seem keen one day and disappear the next?

We immediately think it’s about us. That we’re the problem. We did or said something wrong and turned them off. In fact, there are a ton of articles to tell you it was your fault: you were too clingy, didn’t let them chase, acted needy, were too boring or too forward.

Sure, you might be the reason they lost interest, but is that always the case? Or is it something going on at their end? There are many reasons people lose interest. Here are three that have nothing to do with what you did wrong:

Double date

My friend Greer was seeing two guys. She was friends with one of them, but it had turned into more. At the same time, she met another guy on Tinder. They went on two lovely long dates within a week where they stayed up talking into the night. She felt a strong connection with both of them. They were great to talk to and there was plenty of chemistry. She’d been single for a while, now she…

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Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach
Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach

Written by Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach

New Zealand-based essayist | @ Business Insider, Mamamia, Oh Reader, Thought Catalog, ScaryMommy and more. Say hi at https://becauseyouwrite.substack.com/

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