5 Things I Refuse to Do With My Kids’ New Stepmom

The movies get it all wrong

Photo by Jonathan Daniels on Unsplash

Step-parents are a common part of my family, as they are in many families today. I’ve got a stepmom, this year I’ll become a stepmom, and sometime in the near future, my own kids are getting a stepmom. Wow — that’s a lot of moms!

I’ve learned that the birth mom/stepmom dynamic can be strained, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, placing simple boundaries around your own attitudes and behaviors makes it easier on everyone. It really helps.

These are five things I won’t be doing with my kids’ new stepmom:

1. Telling my kids what they can call her

I know a lot of moms struggle with this one. I’ve even seen some get quite nasty about it: “Over my dead body they’ll call HER mom!”

Personally, I’m not worried what my children decide to call their stepmom. It’s completely up to them.

My relationship with my children isn’t based on the title they give me, neither is it reduced by them calling someone else “mom” (or “mum” as we say here in New Zealand).

2. Ignoring, excluding, or leaving her out of family events