Member-only story
7 Ways to Date With More Kindness
It doesn’t have to be so hard
When I became single again a couple of years ago, after my 16 year marriage ended, I was surprised by how much dating has changed. Dating has become colder. Our swipe culture has made it more transactional and unkind. We date like we’re in a shopping mall – discarding people if they’re not supermodels or a good fit, like you’d discard clothes in a changing room.
But we don’t have to date that way. It’s up to us to change the culture and add what we all really need right now — more kindness.
Here are 7 ways to date with kindness:
1. Be present in the moment.
We often go into a date wondering if we’ll find the love of our life. When they don’t match our expectations, we dismiss them straight away. I don’t feel any chemistry. She’s not my type. He’s too shy for me.
Dating shouldn’t be about checking people off against your ldeal Partner List. It should be fun. When I was dating again, I just wanted to enjoy someone’s company. I wasn’t worried about the outcome or desperate to find another husband. It meant I could enjoy my dates even if I knew immediately they weren’t a great match for me.
On a first date, be present and enjoy their company. See if you can build a…