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7 Ways to Date With More Kindness

It doesn’t have to be so hard

Couple lie together on rug with cups of miso soup
Image by dusanpetkovic at Freepik.com

When I became single again a couple of years ago, after my 16 year marriage ended, I was surprised by how much dating has changed. Dating has become colder. Our swipe culture has made it more transactional and unkind. We date like we’re in a shopping mall – discarding people if they’re not supermodels or a good fit, like you’d discard clothes in a changing room.

But we don’t have to date that way. It’s up to us to change the culture and add what we all really need right now — more kindness.

Here are 7 ways to date with kindness:

1. Be present in the moment.

We often go into a date wondering if we’ll find the love of our life. When they don’t match our expectations, we dismiss them straight away. I don’t feel any chemistry. She’s not my type. He’s too shy for me.

Dating shouldn’t be about checking people off against your ldeal Partner List. It should be fun. When I was dating again, I just wanted to enjoy someone’s company. I wasn’t worried about the outcome or desperate to find another husband. It meant I could enjoy my dates even if I knew immediately they weren’t a great match for me.

On a first date, be present and enjoy their company. See if you can build a…

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Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach
Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach

Written by Kelly Eden | Essayist | Writing Coach

New Zealand-based essayist | @ Business Insider, Mamamia, Oh Reader, Thought Catalog, ScaryMommy and more. Say hi at https://becauseyouwrite.substack.com/

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