Member-only story
Blended Families Aren’t What We Plan For
I have mixed feelings about my family life after divorce
Family life after divorce isn’t the family life I imagined when I had kids. It’s this crazy train station with schedules; it’s arrivals and departures. I make an effort to smile every Friday, when my girls head off with their dad. “You’ll have such a fun weekend,” I say. Most weeks they agree and bounce out the door. The merry-go-round of home life feels exciting for them those weeks — dad’s house is fun; there are bunnies, building projects, adventures with friends at the beach. Things have changed.
But then my teenager will cry. Somedays she just wants me. The nine-year-old picks up on her mood. “I want to stay with you too, Mom,” she whispers. “Please don’t both cry. I can’t stand it,” I think.
I hold her briefly. Get her busy finding a jersey. “Which shoes do you want to take to Dad’s?” I say. Distraction.
“What’s wrong?” their dad asks, arriving at the door. The girls hang back, heads down, clinging to my sides. The 9-year-old hides her face in the soft folds of my winter jersey.
“It’s okay, they’re just a bit tired,” I rub the teenager’s back. “You’ll have fun,” I smile at her. Who am I reassuring, I think, her or myself?
