Great article Nick Wignall. Since my divorce I’ve come across a lot of other divorcees struggling to forgive their exes. I was lucky I guess in that I’ve had practice with forgiveness in the past (with a family history of abuse that needed a long process of forgiveness) so for me it was a no-brainer. I forgave my ex quickly so that I could move forward and live well. And you’re right, forgiveness gets confused with reconciliation. For me, forgiving is completely separate. You can forgive someone and still put in boundaries or decide that they need to be cut out of your life. I forgive my ex but I also put in strong boundaries around contact. Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing someone to continue hurting you or to come back into your life. Forgiveness is so you can be free to move on and heal. It’s not giving up any more of your energy or your life to them. I love how clearly you’ve outlined it.