How to Get Over Your Ex

The first step is asking if you’re prepared to move on

Photo by Heitor Verdi from Pexels

I’m guessing you’re reading this because you want to stop hurting. I was in your shoes just two years ago. One minute you think you’re fine and then some little memory pops into your head, a photo appears on Facebook, you drive past their favorite cafe… and it reminds you of how happy you once were. Nothing is like the feeling of being in love and when it’s over we plunge into achingly painful withdrawal. I haven’t forgotten how that feels. But I want to ask you — and this might sound like a strange question — are you ready to get over your ex?

I hear you. Stupid question. No-one wants to stay miserable and heartbroken, do they? Actually, a lot do. They say they want to forget their ex, stop feeling heartbroken, and move on but then they hold on tight to their pain and misery — sometimes for years.

Asking “Am I ready to get over my ex?” is the first step.

Time doesn’t heal

In my thirties I watched my friends Haley and Paul get divorced. They had a long but difficult marriage — their divorce wasn’t a surprise— but when Haley left, Paul refused to accept it.

He told everyone who would listen that Haley was coming back. This went on for years, well after it was clear she wasn’t…