I Love You. Here Are Your Boundaries

Loving an addicted family member

Photo by W W from Pexels

I know you think I’m being mean.

Maybe I was too kind before? When you were younger, because of your background, I let you get away with more than I should have. I was worried you wouldn’t feel loved, or maybe I was just trying to keep the peace?

Maybe I should have put in tougher boundaries years ago. Healthy boundaries are a whole new concept for me and, believe me, I’m not finding it easy either. I’ve only just learned how to be strong enough. I’ve realised my boundaries haven’t been that great in general, with other people too not just you — it’s so hard to say no. I hate conflict or disappointing people. But I’m learning it’s necessary. It’s especially necessary when trust has been lost.

Because this is a trust thing too — I need to put in stronger boundaries with you now because you’ve lost my trust. Maybe I should have taken your friend more seriously when they accused you of being on drugs. I believed you though. I trusted you more than them at the time.

I know you don’t understand but the boundaries aren’t because I don’t want to see you, or don’t love you anymore. They’re there because this is my home and I need to keep it safe for everyone who lives here. You’ve chosen a particular lifestyle and that means you…