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I Was Vulnerable After Divorce
So when he touched me, I froze
Emerging from my marriage of 16 years, I felt vulnerable. It was like I had no skin on — no protective barrier. I had no boundaries. I didn’t know how to speak up for myself anymore and I struggled to say no to people.
“No” wasn’t a word that had been respected in my marriage. “No” meant “Try harder to convince me.”
Because of this, I entered into the dating scene almost immediately after leaving my ex. Guys asked me out and I just didn’t say no.
But it left me in a much more risky situation than I had imagined. Generally, it was great. I went on some lovely dates with some amazing men. But occasionally, it was awful.
I invited an acquaintance over to my house for dinner one night. I thought I knew him fairly well — well enough to feel safe being alone with him. I was quite wrong.
We sat on the floor to eat and after chatting for a bit, he made an announcement.
“I’ve liked you for quite a while, you know.”
It was only a month after my separation, but apparently he’d had his eye on me for a long time.
I laughed, out of shock more than anything. “Oh! Really. I’m sorry, I only see you as a friend.”
