How to Stop Being Afraid and Love Fearlessly
I’m getting married even though it feels scary
Tonight my fiance is in hospital.
I can’t visit him. I can’t hold his hand. I watched him go through stop-sign-covered doors to be greeted by a masked nurse, and even though I know he’ll be okay — it’s only minor surgery — in these times, it feels much worse.
It hurts to love some days; to worry about someone. I understand why some people decide to love more loosely, with a detached, “If you’re only mine for a season, that’s okay” kind of love. It’s less vulnerable. You can hold back and protect yourself.
Sometimes I hate being in love. I think, “This is too hard. This hurts too much.” For me the thought of losing the person you love is terrifying. That they might one day turn to you and the words that escape their beautiful lips will be “I don’t love you anymore.”
Or, worse, that there’ll be a day when tragedy strikes and they’re gone. That you build a life with them as your best friend, and then they’re the first to go. Just the thought of that is crushing.
If you’re afraid to love someone and lose them, you’re not alone. Fear of intimacy is very real and it can stop us from having the fulfilling, loving relationships we say we want.
