Yes, that sounds like a really difficult situation and I’m certainly not saying you need to approach a person like that in a sympathetic manner. What we do need to consider is how the reader views our “villains” and that they often don’t respond well or in the way we expect them to. The reader wants us to examine our own behavior and reactions, they want to know what signs to look for so they can avoid being blindsided (what did we learn? What would we do differently?) There’s not much point writing a story about an awful thing that happened to us if there’s nothing for the reader to learn from it — it needs to be reader focused even if it’s about our experiences. Does that make more sense?